Archives for the month of: April, 2011

She’s a diva. Oh, yeah.

You gotta believe it. Oh, yeah.

Her screams are loud. Oh, yeah.

I am not cowed. Oh, yeah.

Lest I continue with these song lyrics that might tempt Jay-Z to force me into a record contract, I shall pull the needle off the record and speak in plain English.

My low key, laid back, smiling one-year-old treasure of a little baby girl has turned into a diva.

The transformation is quite astonishing. I’m not complaining, because I do think it’s important for girls to be able to state their needs without an ounce of equivocation. I admire her gumption. But boy, does it make life tough.

For instance, she used to sit quietly in her high chair while I spoon fed her jarred baby food like sweet potato puree and green bean casserole. Now, she keeps her mouth tightly shut at the mere suggestion of food not handmade by me. And she flings every single piece of finger food – broccoli, cheese, chicken – off the highchair as if she’s J Lo tossing old Louboutins out of her American Idol trailer. “I shall not eat this,” her expression seems to say, “It is beneath me!  How dare you!”

And then she smiles graciously at her subject, like Queen Elizabeth I granting a pardon to Sir Walter Raleigh for only laying down his cloak once. “All is forgiven,” she seems to say, and I put her down for her nap.

She used to be easily distracted from whatever it was that caught her attention that I did not want her playing with. Like my cellphone. Now that I have a Crackberry (which is a whole other post…), I’m a little wary of her slathering her juicy saliva all over it. But instead of turning the other cheek as I take it away from her, she screams like Joan Collins reeling in shock after Crystal Carrington has just slapped her across the face in the Southfork foyer, and then arches her back like a giant hydra and crumples in a crying heap on the floor.

Is she tired, I think? Hungry? Eager to provide a solution to her intense distress, I prepare her bottle. She slurps it down, eyeing me out of the corner of her twinkling blue eyes. “I’ve really got this woman’s number,” she seems to say to herself as she starts pouring the last of her milk on the living room carpet.

I recently bought her new shoes made by Trumpette, that lovely company that makes those socks that look like ballet slippers. The shoes are gold. Lace-ups. Shoes for a diva in training. Or a miniature dancing monkey.  I’m realizing now, too late, that these gold accessories, have only fueled her transformation. Like Dorothy’s red slippers, transporting her home after a quick click of the heels, these gold shoes seem to say, “My mama has dressed me like a blingy princess, so that is exactly how I shalt behave.”

Now, back to my Crackberry. I have a very cute photo of little B I took that perfectly illustrates her new diva status. Once I figure out how to email it to myself, I will certainly post.

Until then, I shall return to my duties as diva handler. I shall also try to not obsess over why that woman down the hall from me at the Pratt library (where I sit and write this the moment) is making strange noises like a dog in heat. Seriously. I’m very confused.


Thank God for waxing.

By that, I don’t mean a waxing moon. Though I’m grateful for that too. I like big moons that rise slowly and light the path ahead for seekers in the woods like me.

No, by waxing, I mean the tried and true process of getting rid of unwanted hair.

I consider myself an expert.

So I post this video clip, not only for some late night humor, but in homage to all the ladies out there who, like me, have been cursed with hairier-than-thou bits and pieces of the body that need to be ceremoniously and regularly waxed in order not to look like a werewolf. Or be relegated to the comedy circuit doing impersonations of Foo Man Choo.

Just for a laugh. Late on a Wednesday evening.

 

PS I can’t sleep. Anyone have an Ambien they can lend me?

I’m rather fond of Buddhist philosophy. I’ve gone through various Buddhist phases over the past twenty years, studying with Tibetan Masters of the Universe and traveling to Buddhist hot spots like Nepal and Tibet.

I’ve loved the books I’ve read – anything penned by The Dalai Lama and Pema Chodron, for instance.   Though I never had the patience for to meditate in a sustained way, I’d like to try again.

Thich Nhat Hanh is one of my favorites. He’s a wise old bird whom I’ve seen speak a couple of times. His view of life is so simple. Communicate with kindness and love. Live in the present moment. Eradicate desire. Embody the deep knowledge that as human beings, we are all interconnected. It sounds so easy, right? If I could live life the way he does, maybe I’d be calmer and less neurotic and try to control things less.

But if I really committed to the path of enlightenment, I’d also have to shave my head.  Which actually might be a good thing, considering the fact that I haven’t had a hair cut in six months and as a result, look like Weird Al Yankovic:

Anyway, in one of his books, I think it’s “Peace is Every Step,” he talks about appreciating each day for the ills that have not befallen you. So rather than waking up grumbling about how hard it is to find stellar public schools in Brooklyn or the fact that you have a bunion – a bunion!! – on your right toe, you wake up grateful for the fact that you are healthy and do not have some kind of minor health complaint like a toothache, that could pretty much ruin your day.

It’s the Buddhist way of saying “Life could be worse.”

Yesterday was a giant reminder of this salient point.

The day started off with immense promise. I took B to her first Music Together class. At first, I could tell she was thinking, “Why the hell am I out with a whole bunch of people I don’t know, mama? Usually, we’re at home alone together, and you’re doing weird things like jumping up and down from behind the kitchen island and pulling funny faces, or talking to me in a really dumb voice and then talking to yourself. Don’t think I don’t see you, mama.”

But then she got really into it. Sat right in the middle of the circle. Even flashed her pearly whites (all 6 of them) and started making friends.

But after class and lunch, at about 1.30 pm, the day went south. En route to a long overdue visit to my doctor.

You see, I’ve been sick since last Friday, when I woke up with my throat on fire and barely able to swallow. Now, whatever form of the plague I have has morphed into a head cold with swollen glands.

Woe is me! Deliveries of chicken soup welcome!

The good part is that hubby cut me some slack this week, and because I was growling around the apartment like a slothful old lady with Tourettes, he woke up with B several mornings in a row (we usually take turns.)  For this, I’ve been most grateful because I’ve never been a morning person anyway and I think roosters ought to be shot. Just kidding (sort of) animal lovers and PETA members!

The bad part is that every single night, my throat has become so dry and crackly that sleep has become a Macbethian torment. I’ve been in a continual seesaw between A. trying to muffle my cough (so as not to wake slumbering hubby and kids) and B. continuously shoving Cherry Halls Mentholyptus cough drops into my mouth,  sucking slowly, awake and paranoid that I’ll fall asleep and choke on a cough drop in my sleep.

So while I prefer to avoid seeing doctors as much as possible, I finally made an appointment to see mine. He’s Italian American. Gruff. Charming. Thorough. I actually enjoy our visits, purely because he’s such a character. And a caring doctor. Of the old school variety.

But back to the story. I know this post is a bit meandering. Thank you for sticking around! At around 1.30pm, I was looking for parking near my doctor’s office when I  got a call from hubby, who was with our very socially awkward and slightly depressing accountant doing our taxes. Does anyone have an attractive, charming accountant by the way? If so, I’d like their info.

Hubby was calling to ask me for B’s social security number. She earned us a lovely tax credit. Yay, B! We love you even more! Not that we could ever put a price on your beautiful being!

But then hubby broke the news. He said it didn’t look good. Our accountant had warned him were were going to owe a lot of money this year. I’m not going to name numbers, but the figure he quoted would be enough to roughly pay for:

A. Five really amazing holidays,

B. A new car or

C. A lifetime’s supply of Ritter Sports bars.

I love you, Ritter

I freaked out. Quietly. We said we’d speak later, and I rushed over to the doctor’s office. Whereupon I was told that they were backed up and  there was no WAY I in hell I could be seen by 2.30pm, which is when I absolutely had to leave to pick up the boychild from school.

At which point I freaked out again. Loudly, sputtering “But this is ridiculous. How can you tell someone to come at one time and then not be seen for another hour?” and then instantly felt remorseful and like I should go to Confession, even though I’m not a Catholic, because the receptionist/appointment maker is my doctor’s wife, and a very sweet Italian woman who I’m sure makes whizzbang cannolis, and now I’ll never be able to worm my way into her good graces and benefit from her Italian home cooking.

I walked back to the car, tears streaming down my face, feeling immensely sorry for myself. “Right,” I thought, “We’ll just spend the rest of our lives paying back the IRS  – where do our bloody taxes go, anyway??? – and then we’ll just go live in India where we can live on just $3 a day but then we’ll all get sick and die from dysentery and then the IRS will be really sorry, but it will be too late then, won’t it?”

And then hubby called again.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” he said. “The accountant made a mistake. We don’t owe anything.”

“We don’t?” I replied, in disbelief. (Inner monologue: Hip tip hooray! I’m going to maim our accountant! And now I’m going to really let loose and weep, big fat crazy tears of relief.) Which I did. Cry, that is.  With such Oscar-winning prowess that B started to cry too, which made me feel a million times worse and so I stopped.

So life was essentially exactly the same as it had been 10 minutes earlier. But sooooo very different.

No horrendous debt to the IRS. No metaphorical toothache.

I should have felt great, right? I certainly felt relieved. But I was too bloody tired to jump up and down. Especially because after picking up the boychild, we turned right around and went back to the doctor. Who finally examined me. And informed me that I don’t have the plague. He doesn’t know what it is, but I don’t need antibiotics.

Ohm, Ohm, Ohm…In the spirit of Thich Naht Hanh, I am eternally grateful I am not living in 17th Century Europe and fighting Bubonic Plague (even though my throat still hurts.) And ohm, ohm, ohm…I am grateful I don’t really look like Wierd Al Yankovic (even though my hair is crazy curly right now.)

Here is B, eating her first lollipop at the doctor’s office. I am not including a photo of the boychild sucking on his lollipop, because he looks crazed in all of them, and I want to be sensitive to the fact that he will be a teenager one day and will hate the fact that I published a photo of him looking insane.

Mama, you crazy.

I know this was long! Thanks for reading!!!


That mouse. It’s back.

Why is it only me who hears it?

I swear, the second hubby falls asleep, the scuffling starts again, keeping me up at night with visions of giant claws creeping up the bedskirt and then pouncing onto my freshly moisturized face.

Now, because I am the only one who has seemingly heard this fucking rodent at work, it has popped into my head that maybe this late-night mouse taunting is all part of a dastardly plot to get rid of me. Like in the movie “Gaslight.”

Have you seen it? It’s circa 1944 – classic black and white fare – Charles Boyer is a jewel thief married to Ingrid Bergman. He tries to drive her insane by dimming and brightening the lights (the gas lights) in the house each night while she’s in her bedroom daydreaming about eating donuts on toast.  Oh, wait. That’s me. Anyway, her husband also fuels her fears that she’s losing her mental hardware by removing things and then making her think she’s hidden them away without remembering. He “finds” his missing watch chain in her purse one night, for instance. Things like that.

So I got to thinking, maybe hubby is after a new and improved wifey, after all these years of marriage. (Just seven years, you say? Ah yes, Sherlock! It’s the seven year itch! Mark my words!) I mean, I wouldn’t blame him if he tried to drive me insane by installing a mechanical mouse somewhere under the floorboards of our bedroom – activated, by a stroke of genius, by the motion of his gently snoring breath.

Because he just might want to replace me with someone who doesn’t fart under the covers and then wrinkle her face in disgust when he does the same. Someone who likes to  ice-climb and has no qualms about peeing in public.  Hell, with someone who isn’t so scared of a MOUSE.

But the problem with his plan is this: I’m already quite mad, thank you very much (cue maniacal laughter: MWAH HAHAHAHAHA MWAH HA HA HA.) Nice try, though.

In the meantime, I dread sleep. To sleep , perchance to dream… Because, for Christ Sakes, if it’s not a mechanical mouse down there, that means it’s a real one. Or some other woodland creature. Like a miniature raccoon. Or a rabid squirrel who enjoys nibbling on toes covered with dessicated nail polish.

Alright, I shall be brave! If only for the sake of my family! Good night, dear friends! I shall see you anon….

Last week, as I was giving the boychild his bath, I was inspired to tell him all that I love about him.

Usually, I’m yelling at him not to drop his sister on the floor.  Or not to smear his peanut butter fingers on the sofa.

I love the little bugger and hate when I lose my temper with him, usually because I feel like a crappy mother and not the mum I want to be: Serene, earthy, accepting, able to set limits without losing my shit.

So the other day, I decided to think about all the things I love about him. Which I know intuitively, but I wanted to spell them out for myself, as a reminder of sorts about this little sprite’s unique being in the world.

So I was giving him his bath. Usually, this entails some sort of game where he wants me to play a bad guy or a dragon, so that he can be the superhero and destroy me with his sticky webs. If this isn’t some latent Freudian power struggle, I don’t know what is.

We did this for a while, and then as I was drying him off, I decided to tell him just some of the things I love about him.

The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Do you know what I love about you, honey?

Him: What?

Me: Well, I love your imagination.

Him: Oh.

Me: And, I love your eyes. I love how they sparkle.

Him. Why? Because I just had a bath?

Me:  Well, that’s part of it. But they also sparkle because you’re so full of life.

Him: Oh.

Pause.

Him: Mommy?

Me: Yes.

Him: Your eyes don’t sparkle.

Gee. Thanks, kiddo. Um. Maybe it’s because I’m a just a little bit tired?

Note to self: This kiddo sees right through me. Must try not to show child that parenthood is wearing and draining.

Must get sparkle back.

But how?

Suggestions welcome.

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