Gentle readers,

I know who most of you are. I have some wonderful friends reading my haphazard posts, and for that, I thank you.

I also have some lovely fellow bloggers and mummies who tune in regularly. I am ever grateful for your comments, and I thank you for checking in on me.

I also have some anonymous readers, judging from the “Site Stats” that WordPress kindly reveals each day. Now, some of you folks appear to have stumbled upon my posts quite randomly. If you have enjoyed what I’ve written, and commented, I thank you for reaching out.

WordPress also reveals the “search terms” that have led other anonymous readers to my site. I shall divide these people into 3 categories:

1. The Practical Explorer

People need information about everything from unwanted pests to how to treat colds.

Hence the search for “Scuffling mice.”  I’m assuming that reader was directed to this recent post.

And the search for “Bee pollen and colds.” I’m glad I could be of service here.

Even the folks who apparently searched for  “Why doesn’t bee pollen make me shit” and then “Pooping while skiing” were asking fair and levelheaded questions. I can even relate to those who searched for”bee poop in pollen” and “high altitude makes me poop.” Though I’m not entirely sure my blog helped them solve their particular dilemmas.

Then, there’s….

2. Those in search of porn

Admittedly, I’ve lured only one porn seeker to my site, who apparently found me through the search term “Nice, hot, busty.”  I was puzzled that this highbrow reader was directed to my site, as I am neither nice or busty. Though I am fairly hot.

And then I realized that the poor person was most likely directed to this fairly innocuous poem. Which would hardly have satisfied their carnal urges.

But it’s this next batch of readers that really let me know that my blog is gathering traffic in all the right places. I call them…

3. The Poop Muffins

Yes, apparently there are those who do pop in the words “poop muffin” into their Google search bar. And then “is bee pollen bee poop?” which is an honest but fairly ridiculous mistake. And then, finally, my heart really goes out to the supermodel who searched for this: “Poop after lipo in spandex.” I mean, I know that lipo must be tough on the body, Gisele, but really honey, it would have been far more effective to just call your plastic surgeon.

Photo courtesy of web. Obviously.

Disclaimer: Thank you to all my regular, poop and non-poop searching readers! I heart you!

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